Monday, March 1, 2010

Simplest solution: Buy a republican!

One really cool way to break the gridlock in Washington over social legislation has been overlooked. Buying votes. Yes, buying votes. It's not really cheating anymore. Even the Supreme Court is on board. Banking interests, insurance companies, and all the Harvard Business School types do it without remorse, so why shouldn't the common folk get in on it? One good example is my senator, Jim Demint of South Carolina. He votes straight down the line with his top contributors-banking, energy, health insurers, and the thing is he really sells himself short. Each of them only pay about a hundred thousand or so into his coffers every election cycle, according to his records (opensecrets.com). That's really cheap compared to the return they get- the right to steal the people of South Carolina blind, quietly and legally.

If the democrats would take their money and spend it on securing republican votes, we would certainly get some bills passed. If you can't beat a republican, buy one. If 100,000 people each would send a check for just $10.00 (call it a campaign contribution) along with a strong statement on each bill they wanted passed, that would be a million dollars. No small amount- even for a republican senator. We've seen that it's unrealistic to think the republicans have any interest other than self interest, so lets go with that. Pay them.

So cheer up. Maybe the system is not broken. We're just looking at it the wrong way. Sometimes the smart move is to stop fighting your enemy and just pay him money. It's not like we haven't done it before. The Romans paid some of their enemies to get lost (called it tribute). We're even paying the Taliban to change sides. So why not pay republicans? Money means more to them than anything-more than the right to clean air and water, the right to competant health care, and a long list of human rights that every american should have. So wet their beek, as the mafioso once said.

Let's break the gridlock! Buy a republican!

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