Election fever is in the air!
Rumor has it the new republican dream team of Christine O'donnell and Terry Jones has the support of SC senator Jim Demint. Demint only has to iron out who will be President and Vice President. Jones can deliver Florida, but O'donnell is cuter.
Unnamed sources say the mysterious Koch brothers will put up the billion dollars necessary for the long tv campaign (in return for being able to pollute the entire Mississippi river and all of it's tributaries), and Rupert Murdock will do the publicity on his new Fox show "The News Before it Happens- the Sara Palin adventure".
The christian right is on board with their new "republican beatitudes", a few of which were leaked:
Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall see Ronald Regan
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit with no inheritance tax
Blessed are those who make war, for their Halliburton stock shall quadruple
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they are suckers and easy to exploit
Blessed are they who tithe, for they make us rich and keep us on tv
Blessed are the lobbyists, for they confuse the issues
The only issue remaining is the rumor that Terry Jones (the fundamentalist christian preacher and would-be Koran burner), after some very interesting phone calls from all over the world, has decided to convert to Islam.
Of course if this happens Jim Demint will be in the dog house with the Republican right and his career will suffer, but golly, even Republicans make mistakes sometimes, and he can always call his mentor Tom Delay to get back on track-
Hallelujah brother!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
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